Sacrament Talk – February 21, 2016
It was the summer of 1993. Debra and Howard took their five children on vacation to Arizona to visit their grandparents. One morning while they were still in bed, Debra suffered a seizure which necessitated a call to 911, and a trip to the local hospital. After several tests, it was determined that Debra had a tumor on her brain stem. It was inoperable. Medication was prescribed and instructions were given for Debra to see her family doctor as soon as they returned back home to California.
While back at his parent’s home, Howard made sure that Debra was comfortable in bed before rushing off to the local pharmacy. The oldest daughter was instructed to watch over her younger siblings. At this point, not much was shared with the children. Grandma stayed with Debra until she needed to leave for a moment to retrieve a bed pan. When she returned, Debra had suffered another seizure. Paramedics arrived and worked hard to resuscitate her. She was rushed back to the hospital where she was placed on life support.
At home in Fallbrook, California, our phone rang. I was quietly nursing Peter, then just four months old. Paul answered the phone and his silence told me that something was wrong. As he hung up the receiver, I stated, “It’s Debra, isn’t it?” The Spirit had told me during a conversation with her weeks before, that something was not right.
In an effort to protect the children, Tom 15, Michelle 12, John 10, Michael 5 and Rachael just 5 months old, it was decided that they would not be permitted to see their mother in this condition.
Just two days later, Debra was taken off life-support. It was a very difficult decision for Howard to make, but as a project scientist specializing in cancer research UCSD, he understood his options. The entire stake grieved greatly for this family.
Debra was just a year older than I was when she passed away. Rachel was just one month older than my youngest, Peter. It hit very close to home for me, but In addition to my grief, I was confused.
Sometime after our first son was born, we invited Debra and Howard over for dinner. Paul had served in a Bishopric with Howard before the ward had split and Howard was called as the Bishop of the newly organized 4th ward. Although we were no longer in the same ward, we remained close friends. During our dinner conversation, we had asked Debra and Howard if they would consider raising our children if something were to happen to both of us. They had agreed. Why then, I wondered, would I feel so strongly about asking them when the Lord knew that Debra’s life would be cut short?
Howard hired a nanny to help care for the children. On many levels, this did not work out well for the family and eventually the nanny was let go. When Rachel was about two –and-a-half, Howard asked me if I would watch her while he was at work. He also requested that I be available as an emergency contact for the other children while they were at school. Having lost my father at 16, I had also made a special effort to become a close aunt-like figure to his daughter Michelle. It was at this point that I saw Heavenly Father’s plan clearly. The inspiration to ask the question of Debra and Howard, was so that I would feel a deep connection to them and a great desire to be there for my sister in the gospel and her family, in their time of need. There were many great challenges for Howard and his family, but during the time that I served them, I had the opportunity to feel Debra close by and experienced great support, even blessings from above.
Michelle now 34, lives in Eagle Mountain with her own little family, and we remain close friends. Like all of us who experience the loss of a loved one, she will always miss her mother and forever feel that void. She once told me that she was sad that she never really felt her mother nearby like she knew that I often had. I told her that I had no doubt that she was near and aware of Michelle, but that perhaps it was that way so that she would continue to have a connection with me so that she had someone close by to reach out to in time of need. I believe strongly, that this was Heavenly Father’s plan all along.
Sadly, in 2011 Michelle (and her husband Ben) suffered another loss. Michelle was at her sister’s BYU orientation, and instantly knew something was wrong with her baby. At 25 weeks into the pregnancy, Mailia was still born.
I don’t believe that any of us are immune from experiencing adversity in our lives. I know that I personally have had my own share. I also know that whatever trial I am currently experiencing, will not be my last and the lessons learned are not usually made clear until the trial is behind me. I feel like the Lord gives me just enough of a reprieve to gather strength, before the next one comes along.
It appears to me that everyone in my circle of family and friends is enduring great challenges right now. Some would say that it’s my age and because most of my family and friends are older and it’s just expected that it’s nearing their time to pass on from this life. But I am seeing young children, teenagers and even many in their 30’s and 40’s being taken home at an increasing rate. My dear cousin Andrea was recently placed on hospice. She is in her mid-forties.
At my age, I have seen many great changes in the world and in our nation. I often think that our kids are immune because they haven’t seen the world any other way. It’s not my parent’s world anymore. Truthfully, it’s not even my world!
In 1776, Thomas Paine wrote in The American Crisis:
THESE are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives everything its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods…
In Sheri Dew’s book, “If Life Were Easy, it Wouldn’t be Hard – And Other Reassuring Truths”, she writes:
“While we have been assigned to take the test of mortality during the most spiritually rigorous and demanding time in the world’s history, we have not been left alone.”
We all know the basic answers to how we can find strength. I have put together my top 8 tools that I feel our Father has given us to help us on our journey. I share them with you with the hope that they will if needed, rekindle the fire within us to stand tall, to be brave, valiant, and to endure the challenges that we face.
1. Our Savior Jesus Christ:
In Matthew 11: 28, the Lord lovingly offers help. He promises to be there for us as we covenant with him:
28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
In Doctrine and Covenants 84:88, he also promises:
“And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.”
2. A Living Prophet:
As members of the Lord’s church, we are so blessed to have a living prophet. What especially comforts me is that he is not a prophet of doom. We may be counseled and warned, but HOPE is always the message. We may not understand his message, but the Lord tells us in Doctrine and Covenants 1: 38
“What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same.”
We have to exercise FAITH that our Father in Heaven has the bigger picture. Our understanding is so limited by our experiences and perspectives.
3. The Holy Spirit:
There is a reason that the Holy Ghost is called a GIFT and the COMFORTER. He works in PERFECT unity with the Savior and our Heavenly Father to help us live righteously and receive the blessings of the gospel. If we keep ourselves clean, he is there by our side.
He “witnesses of the Father and the Son” and reveals and teaches “the truth of all things”. We can receive a sure testimony of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ only by the power of the Holy Ghost. His communication to our spirit carries far more certainty than any communication we can receive through our natural senses.
As we strive to stay on the path that leads to eternal life, the Holy Ghost can guide us in our decisions and protect us from physical and spiritual danger.
4. Prayer:
“When we pray, God hears more than we say, answers more than we ask, gives more than we imagine in his own time and in his own way.” – author unknown
Brigham Young said: “Were I to draw a distinction in all the duties that are required of the children of men, from first to last, I would place first and foremost the duty of seeking unto the Lord our God until we open the path of communication from heaven to earth – from God to our own souls. Keep every avenue of your hearts clean and pure before him”
5. The Scriptures
Wouldn’t it have been wonderful to actually hear the Savior’s words as He spoke them? The scriptures tell us how we can still hear his voice today:
“Yea, behold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart” (D&C 8:2)
If I Listen with My Heart, is one of the Primary songs for this year’s program. The first verse like this:
If I had been a little child when Jesus lived on earth,
I would have liked to walk with Him and listen to His words,
But as I search the scriptures I can hear His words of peace,
And if I listen with my heart I hear the Savior’s voice.
6. Seek for Spiritual Gifts:
Elder Bruce R. McConkie said: “Is it proper to seek for spiritual gifts? Should we plead with the Lord for the gift of prophecy, or of revelation, or of tongues? Is it fitting and right to pray for the soul-sanctifying privilege of seeing the face of the Lord Jesus while we yet dwell as mortals in a sin-filled world? Does the Lord expect us to desire and seek for spiritual experiences, or do the divine proprieties call for us simply to love the Lord and keep his commandments, knowing that if and when he deems it proper he will grant special gifts and privileges to us?
By way of answer, it almost suffices to ask such questions as these: Are we not expected to seek salvation, the greatest of all the gifts of God? Why, then, should we not prepare ourselves for the greatest of all boons by seeking the enjoyment of the lesser ones?”
Through the Holy Ghost, we can receive gifts of the Spirit for our benefit and for the benefit of those we love and serve
7. Charity
Sheri Dew writes:
“Charity is not an emotion or an action. It is not something we feel or do. Charity is who the Savior is. It is His most defining and dominant attribute. It is what enabled Him to endure the Garden and the cross for you and me. It is one of the things that makes Him God. Thus when we plead for the gift of charity, we aren’t asking for lovely feelings toward someone who bugs us or someone who has injured or wounded us. We are actually pleading for our very natures to be changed, for our character and disposition to become more and more like the Savior’s, so that we literally feel as He would feel and thus do what He would do. That explains why Mormon said that when the Savior appears, those who have been gifted with charity “shall be like him,” for they shall “see him as he is” (Moroni 7:48)”
8. Miracles
Look for miracles! This has become a motto of mine. Look for them, acknowledge them, give thanks, and remember them and from where they came…
One of my favorite quotes by Elder Holland begins with 2 Kings 6:16-17:
“Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them. And Elisha prayed, and said, Lord, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may see. And the Lord opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw: and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha"
“In the gospel of Jesus Christ you have help from both sides of the veil, and you must never forget that. When disappointment and discouragement strike--and they will--you remember and never forget that if our eyes could be opened we would see horses and chariots of fire as far as the eye can see riding at reckless speed to come to our protection. They will always be there, these armies of heaven, in defense of Abraham's seed.”
My brothers and sisters, as we go through our often rocky life here on this earth, how blessed we are to know that we are not alone. Our beloved Father in Heaven loves us enough to have sent us his only begotten son to provide the way for us to return home. Our Savior simply asks that we come unto him, place our burdens at his feet and he will give us rest. It is through him, our living prophets, the gift of the Holy Spirit, the power of Prayer, the ability to hear his voice through the scriptures, the blessing of spiritual gifts, the understanding of charity, and marvelous miracles that we can and will feel hope, comfort and peace during tumultuous times. This is my prayer for us all, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
