Elder D. Todd Christopherson,
General Conference, April 2015
Sacrament Talk, February 27, 2022
Mary let me hold her baby
Her newborn son
Though I'd never be a mother
I felt like one
After sacrament, I approached this dear sister to offer a hug and express my sincere appreciation. Her words were sharp as she coldly gazed into my eyes and asked how I could possibly relate since I had my boys. My response was simple, at least it was to me, as I replied, “Because there was a time I thought I would never have children of my own.”
The topic of marriage and family can be painful to many brothers and sisters in the church. I want YOU to know that I am sensitive to this. Like many of you, I am a convert. I did not come from pioneer heritage. I did not have parents who were members of the church; the priesthood blessings were therefore not in my home growing up. I had no experience in Primary or Young Women’s, and for ten years of marriage, five of those being a member of the Church, I did not believe that I would ever have children of my own. Although Paul and I have been married now for 42 years, we admit that we do not have the perfect marriage or family.
So, as I share with you words of wisdom from the talk by Elder D. Todd Christofferson on “Why Marriage, Why Family”, I do so knowing that this topic may be difficult for many in this congregation. So I want to begin by sharing the following words that are embedded within the body of this talk with the hopes that you will understand what is said here today with an open heart and with an understanding of how great the love our Heavenly Father has for each one of his children.
Elder Christofferson says, “To declare the fundamental truths relative to marriage and family is not to overlook or diminish the sacrifices and successes of those for whom the ideal is not a present reality. Some of you are denied the blessing of marriage for reasons including a lack of viable prospects, same-sex attraction, physical or mental impairments, or simply a fear of failure that, for the moment at least, overshadows faith. Or you may have married, but that marriage ended, and you are left to manage alone what two together can barely sustain. Some of you who are married cannot bear children despite overwhelming desires and pleading prayers.
Even so, everyone has gifts; everyone has talents; everyone can contribute to the unfolding of the divine plan in each generation. Much that is good, much that is essential—even sometimes all that is necessary for now—can be achieved in less than ideal circumstances. So many of you are doing your very best. And when you who bear the heaviest burdens of mortality stand up in defense of God’s plan to exalt His children, we are all ready to march. With confidence, we testify that the Atonement of Jesus Christ has anticipated and, in the end, will compensate all deprivation and loss for those who turn to Him. No one is predestined to receive less than all that the Father has for His children.”
Brothers and sisters, we likely all know someone who is struggling in their marriage or with their children. Families are falling apart and members are finding themselves attending church alone with their children, while their spouse is home claiming to have no more desire to be a part of the fold. We know who the enemy is!
Elder Christofferson says,
“In the premortal world, Lucifer rebelled against God and His plan, and his opposition only grows in intensity. He fights to discourage marriage and the formation of families, and where marriages and families are formed, he does what he can to disrupt them. He attacks everything that is sacred about human sexuality, tearing it from the context of marriage with a seemingly infinite array of immoral thoughts and acts. He seeks to convince men and women that marriage and family priorities can be ignored or abandoned, or at least made subservient to careers, other achievements, and the quest for self-fulfillment and individual autonomy. Certainly, the adversary is pleased when parents neglect to teach and train their children to have faith in Christ and be spiritually born again. Brothers and sisters, many things are good, many are important, but only a few are essential.”
The Prophet Joseph Smith stated that “Satan cannot seduce us by his enticements unless we in our hearts consent and yield. Our organization is such that we can resist the devil; if we were not organized so, we would not be free agents.”
Elder Christofferson refers to an article In the Wall Street Journal, The Global Flight from the Family by Nicholas Eberstadt, which reads: “People may be loyal to one another in nonmarital relationships, and children can be born and raised, sometimes quite successfully, in other than a married two-parent family environment. But on average and in the majority of cases, evidence of the social benefits of marriage and of the comparatively superior outcomes for children in families headed by a married man and woman is extensive.
Eberstadt catalogs the worldwide declines in marriage and childbearing and the trends regarding fatherless homes and divorce and observes: “The deleterious impact on the hardly inconsequential numbers of children disadvantaged by the flight from the family is already plain enough. So too the damaging role of divorce and out-of-wedlock childbearing in exacerbating income disparities and wealth gaps—for society as a whole, but especially for children. Yes, children are resilient and all that. But the flight from family most assuredly comes at the expense of the vulnerable young. That same flight also has unforgiving implications for the vulnerable old.”
The Family: A Proclamation to the World reads:
“...we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.”
It also states in The Proclamation that “The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.”
In an article written by me in 2018 on The Wisdom of Grandparents, it reads: “Traditions can play a huge role in nurturing a healthy family. The experience of growing up with generations can be vital to a child’s well-being. It provides a sense of security in an often confusing and tumultuous world our little ones have to endure. Grandparents provide a child with a trusting resource in times of questions and concerns. The more pillars of strength in a family unit, the more stable one may feel.
The Proclamation blesses us with the knowledge that “The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.”
The final paragraph in The Proclamation reads: “We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.”
And in my personal experiences might I be specific by adding to that list, lawyers, judges, therapists, clergymen, social workers, guardian ad litems, and the like. How wonderful it would be if all involved worked together in the best interest of the children and the family unit.
Elder Christofferson ends his talk with this, “May we each find approval in His sight. May marriages flourish and families prosper, and whether our lot is a fulness of these blessings in mortality or not, may the Lord’s grace bring happiness now.”
Brothers and sisters, whether you are part of a family, have a family of your own, have a circle of individuals who are a family by choice, remember that you are a member of this great ward family and worldwide church.
I would like to leave you with the words of the sweet primary song, “The Family is of God,”:
Our Father has a family. It’s me!
It’s you, all others too: we are His children.
He sent each one of us to earth, through birth,
To live and learn here in fam’lies.
God gave us families
to help us become what He wants us to be—
This is how He shares His love,
for the fam’ly is of God.
I leave these words with you in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
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