Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Last night I had the realization that we are experiencing the "lasts": the last birthday, the last holidays, and even the last months (September, October....) that John will be in high school and perhaps even living at home. As I pause to fill out the form to order his cap & gown for graduation, my thoughts go back to Mom.
Dad was gone but one year when I began this path that John is now on. I certainly can recall the turmoil that I was experiencing my senior year. But I now ponder what Mom's thoughts may have been. No longer was she a stay-at-home mom, but a woman torn between two worlds...raising her two remaining daughters and trying to make enough money to survive. I was the fourth to leave the nest. Was she used to it by now or just resigned to that fact of life? Another bittersweet experience.
With October well underway and my pink ribbon in tact on my sweater, my thoughts reflect on our mother. I don't think anyone can fully relate to the love and sacrifices that are a part of the woman we call "mother". Only when we find ourselves in her shoes years later can we truly understand or at least wonder, did you feel these same emotions Mom? Who was there for you to share your joy, concerns and ever fears with after Dad passed on. Now, I find myself a bit empty as I realize that I cannot share these emotions with her.
I'm grateful for the knowledge I have of where she is today--free from pain and suffering. Perhaps she is even dancing the zeibekiko with Dad at that great Greek picnic with Aunt Christine, Uncle George and all our Greek friends from Long Beach, clapping with encouragement.
Fall is a time of refelction as the seasons change......
Last night I had the realization that we are experiencing the "lasts": the last birthday, the last holidays, and even the last months (September, October....) that John will be in high school and perhaps even living at home. As I pause to fill out the form to order his cap & gown for graduation, my thoughts go back to Mom.
Dad was gone but one year when I began this path that John is now on. I certainly can recall the turmoil that I was experiencing my senior year. But I now ponder what Mom's thoughts may have been. No longer was she a stay-at-home mom, but a woman torn between two worlds...raising her two remaining daughters and trying to make enough money to survive. I was the fourth to leave the nest. Was she used to it by now or just resigned to that fact of life? Another bittersweet experience.
With October well underway and my pink ribbon in tact on my sweater, my thoughts reflect on our mother. I don't think anyone can fully relate to the love and sacrifices that are a part of the woman we call "mother". Only when we find ourselves in her shoes years later can we truly understand or at least wonder, did you feel these same emotions Mom? Who was there for you to share your joy, concerns and ever fears with after Dad passed on. Now, I find myself a bit empty as I realize that I cannot share these emotions with her.
I'm grateful for the knowledge I have of where she is today--free from pain and suffering. Perhaps she is even dancing the zeibekiko with Dad at that great Greek picnic with Aunt Christine, Uncle George and all our Greek friends from Long Beach, clapping with encouragement.
Fall is a time of refelction as the seasons change......
No comments:
Post a Comment